I changed the name of my blog from “Waiting for Spring” to “Perennial.” Since 2012, I had been waiting for the seasons to change, for a time of fruitfulness and idyllic bliss. I realized that I don’t have to wait around for springtime in order to be alive, and in fact, declaring life begets life. I believe all the seasons are good, and all of them bring forth life and lessons and love, if I look for them.
It worked. My life never seemed so easy, so full, so fun. I was surrounded by people who loved me and I enjoyed every aspect of life: marriage, work, friendships, future plans, and health. My eczema was finally healed through regularly practicing hot yoga, and I felt cleansed and refreshed inside and out. I had settled into a beautiful rhythm of life while continuing to dream. It was a wonderful balance.
Then life got hard. Issues from my past resurfaced and I didn’t know how to deal with them on a root level. Pieces of my heart I thought had been healed were exposed as bandaids were ripped off. I was so thankful to have invested in my community, because when I needed them most, they were there. I saw firsthand how God heals through the care and kindness of others.
I went to counseling, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. There is a place for sozos and intense spiritual encounters, but there is also a place for the process and journey, for asking tough questions and digging deeper and hard work. A friend and leader in my church had a word for the body: “There will be spring this fall,” and it was true. When I stopped waiting for spring, it came, and then it came back again.
A true perennial.